


Burritos With Piett

by Scribefor4



Category: Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-05 00:51:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13376622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scribefor4/pseuds/Scribefor4
Summary: Inspired by a pin on Pinterest.  Vader arrives back from a mission and is a mess.  Vader/Piett/ OC.  Rated for some mildly course, rough and irritating language, but it goes nowhere.  One shot.





	Burritos With Piett

The way he came down the shuttle ramp was concerning. Usually he came down with authority. But this time his steps were slower. This time he took his time. He was a mess.  
Kalania and Piett were both waiting at the bottom of the ramp, they had both heard that he and the 501st had had a hell of a time with some Rebel fighters and some of the wildlife on the planet that they were at and he looked like it.

 

He was holding his helmet, or what was left of it. His mask was virtually gone, and it was a wonder that he was even upright. The control box on his chest was in shambles, and it looked like it was ripped from his suit and repaired quickly. It sparked. Wires were hanging out. Any light that should have been green usually was either red, flashing red, burnt out or just plain gone. His gloves were both gone. And it looked like his left calf had been crushed. He had a gash on the left side of his head that was still bleeding and looked like it was about to be the cause of his becoming unconscious. His cape and usual shoulder armor were still there. But the cape was almost totally destroyed. He was bruised.  
Since the mask enhanced his vision, he was moving slowly, so that he could actually see. The Lava on Mustafar had damaged his vision, and now when he didn’t have his mask on, he had to wear reading glasses. So, he made his steps slower so that he doesn’t go keening off the edge of the ramp. 

 

He made it to the bottom of the ramp. He stopped before Kalania and was too tired to say anything.

 

“Looks like you had fun.” Kalania quipped.

 

“Best time ever,” Vader answered, finding a sense of humor.

“Looks like you had a blast.” Kalania observed trying to tuck a wire back to where it should be. Vader didn’t try to stop her at this.

“That’s the last time I have burritos with Piett,” Vader said sarcastically looking at his assistant.

Piett took the cue and came back with “Hey, I have no sympathy for you. You’re the one who chose the Grande Diablo burrito. And when you decided to use Apocalypto sauce and Smack my Ass and Call Me Sally sauce, you sealed your fate.’ 

 

“Yeah, but I wasn’t the one that wanted to attempt triple tequila shots.” Vader added. “You were the reason why we got thrown out of El Guappo Tacoporium in the first place. By The way, did you save the measuring tape?” 

 

“Measuring tape?” Kalania asked as they walked slowly towards Medical.

“Yeah. They used a measuring tape to find out how big his helmeted head is to make the Grande Diablo. It was the biggest burrito they ever attempted. No wonder Tico had you sign a waiver.”

 

A waiver? Clearly this was an interesting time.

 

“Dammit, Piett, you shouldn’t have mentioned the waiver. Whatever happens at Guappo’s, stays at Guappo’s.” 

 

“Oh, then the posts on Stargram should be taken down?” Piett asked with raised eyebrows.

 

“Yeah.” Vader sighed. 

 

“Too Bad,” Piett said as the doors to medical opened. “The video already had twenty-five thousand views. Apparently, Darth Vader with a sombrero on his head is funny. But when you attempted to sing with the Mariachi band was even better. Who knew you were so good with maracas.”

 

“Was that before or after the tequila shots?” Vader asked Piett.

 

“You were such a lightweight, that was right after the second shot. Single shot, and then you decided you wanted to try triple shots. By that time, I had said enough, and the tequila got to my head. So, it’s not my fault that you farted and the fumes condemned the building. Do you realize that one Sith Lord burrito pants cannon blast would totally cause the building to fall?” 

 

” Which, by the way, happened after we got kicked out, and you wouldn’t give Tico back the sombrero” Vader added. They walked to the treatment room in silence.

 

Vader, who had since lay down on the treatment bed, with a smile on his face, chuckled at this story. None of it was true.


End file.
